How to Befriend a Cat Quickly

Sometimes, befriending a cat can be challenging, but the effort and time invested in building trust are always worth it.

Whether it’s your own cat or one that comes with a new relationship, people generally aim to create a harmonious bond with the animal as soon as possible. However, this often proves to be harder than it seems. Despite knowing that cats have a “moody” nature, it can still hurt when an important whiskered companion repeatedly rejects your advances. In such cases, it’s worth stepping back and considering why the cat is so distant. Is it simply their nature, or are you doing something wrong? Below, we’ll help identify the root of the problem and share tips on how to befriend a cat.

Identifying the Root Cause

If you notice that the cat is hostile only toward you but is otherwise sociable, it’s important to figure out why. In cases where a cat accompanies a new relationship, jealousy might come into play—but don’t place all the blame on the cat. Often, the problem lies not in the cat’s temperament but, as hard as it may be to admit, in your own behavior and understanding.

If you do the things they like and stay out of their personal space, you can win a cat over

– says Lisa Radosta, DVM, DACVB.

Signs a Cat Wants to Befriend You or Keep Distance

Unfortunately, the average person knows very little about cat communication. Most people understand that a purring cat is likely happy, a meowing cat wants attention, and hissing signals annoyance. While these cues are helpful, they oversimplify cat communication. For example, there are many reasons a cat might hiss. Nonetheless, these cues are a good starting point. Let’s briefly review a few essential tips about cat body language.

• Approach Signals: A cat that approaches with ears forward, tail raised and relaxed (often resembling a question mark), and almond-shaped pupils is likely friendly and seeking interaction.
• Distance Signals: If a cat maintains its distance, flicks its tail back and forth, has ears turned sideways or backward, and round pupils, it’s best to respect their space.

Could Your Behavior Be Provoking the Cat?

Understanding these signals, it’s crucial to consider whether you’re respecting the cat’s boundaries. Do you pick them up or pet them without warning? Do you invade their personal space when it’s clear they want to be left alone? Such actions may irritate the cat and hinder relationship building.

Start by paying attention to these cues and approaching (or retreating) accordingly. If you aim to build more than just a conflict-free relationship and want true friendship, the following tips can help.

Tips to Befriend a Cat

Respect Their Personal Space

Allow the cat to approach you first. If you want to initiate contact, try calling them over or using treats to encourage them. Avoid being pushy; don’t pet or pick them up without their consent, especially if your bond is still developing. Over time, they’ll naturally come closer if they feel safe around you.

Speak Calmly and Gently

Don’t make a big deal out of their initial approach; this could scare a shy or distrustful cat. Remain calm, speak softly, and avoid loud noises, increasing the likelihood that the cat will feel comfortable around you.

Mindful Hand Movements

When extending your hand, move slowly and avoid directly targeting their face. If they nuzzle your hand, it’s usually a sign they’re open to being petted. Even then, test their limits by pausing occasionally to see if they seek more interaction or need a break.

Eye Contact and Slow Blinks

Cats don’t appreciate direct, prolonged eye contact, especially early in the relationship. They may perceive it as intimidating. However, slow blinking at a cat can build trust—it’s akin to smiling for humans. If you catch their gaze, try slow blinking to foster a sense of security.

The Way to Their Heart is Through Their Stomach

Treats can be a great way to win over a cat. Offer a small reward, then gently pet them. Over time, alternate the order—pet them first, then offer a treat. This will create a positive association between your touch and rewards. Gradually, you can reduce the treats as trust grows. Be mindful not to overfeed; obesity can harm a cat’s health in the long run.

By following these tips, you’ll likely find yourself forming a close and rewarding bond with your feline friend.